(This post should be more accurately titled as "2013's realizations and things I need to work on in 2014", but I think "lessons learned" sounds a lot better.)
1. Apologize and ask forgiveness from your children. A lot. Every time you yell or react wrongly to a situation. Not only are you getting right with your little people, whom you wronged, but you are giving them an example of how to treat their siblings and friends later on in life. Taking this a step further, during night time prayers with your children, confess your sins to Jesus. This one is definitely humbling, but I think very necessary to show your children how to confess their sins. (This also opens the door - in my case, every night - to share the gospel with your children.)
2. Drop what you're doing for your children. As much as possible. Understanding that while carrying a pot of boiling pasta to the sink or pulling a casserole out of the oven is not an ok time to do this, do it whenever possible. Stop mid-cleaning, folding, cooking, etc. to deal with the little things. Any time you tell your child "just a minute" you are telling them they are not as important as what you're doing. If your children know you will drop what you're doing when they need you, they won't blink when you really do need them to wait patiently. I learned this lesson while cooking supper. My sweet 4 year old had asked me all day to play with her, I kept putting her off, and she finally gave up on asking. She had received the message that she didn't matter. Such a heart breaking lesson for me to learn.
3. Don't brush off boo-boos and hurt feelings, even if you realize the situation isn't that big. I've found that overreacting my sympathies to their overreaction of pain leaves us all in a pile of giggles on the floor. And if they are really hurt, they know that you're going to be there for them. Show your children they can come to you with anything now while they're toddlers and they'll come to your with their big, high school sized boo-boos later.
4. Loved children are happier, more well behaved children. I've found the more selfish I am being (see numbers 2 and 3 - and yes, I now realize they are very similar), the more I prioritize my to do list instead of my children, the more whiny and disobedient my children are.
5. Slow down. Listen to your kids. Involve your kids. Play and snuggle with them a lot more than you think you have time for. In 10 years, they won't want to help make cookies, build towers, or sit in your lap to read books. Enjoy these days, even if you have to enjoy them while still wearing pajamas at 3pm, in a living room covered with toys, blankets, cheerios, and laundry waiting to be folded. Enjoy these days before they're gone.
