Discouraging Thought: This phase of life will never end.
Encouraging Truth: "For there is a time and a way for everything, although man's trouble lies heavy on him." - Ecclesiastes 8:6
Loving Instruction: "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God" - I Peter 5:6a
Our Reward: "so that at the proper time he may exalt you. Casting all your cares on him, for he cares for you." - I Peter 5:6b - 7
These days are long ones, these days of caring for lots of little people. Daily, I crawl out of bed to the sound of two toddler girls fighting, my 24 month old banging his head on his bed (WHY does he do this?!?), and my baby yelling and/or cooing, drenched in his own urine and slobber, all of them wanting to be changed and fed. I shuffle out of bed, trying to make sure I'm modest enough to meet my toddlers for the day so as to avoid those awkward questions about my now extremely saggy body. Survival is the name of the game as I change diapers and clothes, empty the potty chair, fill sippy cups and bottle, and pull out pop-tarts, crackers, or donuts for breakfast. Survival is the name of the game as I break up fights, find lost toys, kiss boo-boos, discipline and then comfort repeatedly. Surviving is having to decide whether to fold laundry or read a book to whiny children. It is microwaving hot dogs or making mac and cheese from that magical blue box for lunch. It's knowing that we're almost to nap time as I yell "stop throwing your food on the floor and eat it" for the tenth time in nine seconds while trying to feed baby a bottle with one arm. It's making it to nap time and melting into a pool of tears because I feel like the world is caving in around me, that I'm the only mother ever to struggle, the only one to almost give up caring about anyone or anything.
Somehow, every day, we make it to nap time, the cycle repeats itself, and we survive until bedtime. Every. Day. Some days are better, some days are worse. Since I am obviously still in the "loving instruction" part of this truth today, I realize I need to humble myself. So today I am admitting I can't do it all by myself. I am admitting that I am overwhelmed emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. I am admitting that my post partum depression, which has come and gone in little waves ever since baby's birth, has come back with a vengeance. (Humbling myself tomorrow by calling my OB to discuss hormone issues that are affecting the depression among other things.) I am admitting that I am nothing without my Jesus and it is only by His grace that I make it through each day.
