This past weekend was a crazy one, so please forgive me for not posting. Thursday was our baby's nine month check-up, and we found out he had an ear infection. It seemed that as soon as we knew about the infection, Michael started acting like something was actually bothering him. So a cranky, teething, infected baby didn't make things any better. Friday came and brought our first ultrasound of our newest munchkin. We found out I wasn't as far along as the Dr.'s office had originally calculated. I was kind of planning on this, seeing as this is my fourth time to the ballgame, but just knowing for sure that I have to add two weeks to the due date they originally gave me was disappointing for sure. When you're pretty sick while pregnant and caring for three little hooligans, adding two weeks of pregnancy is just adding two weeks of misery. So there was that. And then my Dr. told me the blood and urine tests from the nurse appointment a few weeks ago came back positive for the Group B Strep. This knocked the wind out of me. I tried not to sob right there in the office. While this may sound silly, I tested positive for my first two babies, and negative for the third. The first time around, the antibiotics they put in your IV to treat for the Group B was worse than childbirth. Seriously. I am not exaggerating. I wasn't aware that you could be positive and then negative for the next one, so I didnt' expect any different with my second. It still was awful, but I only had a four hour labor, so it wasn't as nightmare-ish as the first time. By the third time around, I did research on the whole nasty thing and discovered you could be negative after being positive. So I prayed. Every day until the test at 37 weeks. It was negative and I praised God that I didn't have to have the antibiotics in my IV during childbirth. Since the infection already showed up, I'm not even going to be tested later. I'm getting treated. Period. End of story. When discussing this with my OB, as I said, I wanted to cry. I held it together until I got home and then lost it while talking with my friend who had so graciously watched our munchkins for us. I then lost it again later that day multiple times. I guess I felt robbed. Cheated. I felt my hope had been pulled out from under me. I felt God wasn't even giving me the chance to pray. Of course, I know that is not how God works, that He loves me, and knows what's best. While it is still highly disappointing and frustrating, I am trying to focus on His grace and love, not the circumstances of my little world and the extra pain this childbirth will bring. On Saturday we celebrated our oldest's third birthday with friends and family, which ended up being an all-day affair. Sunday was church and three messed up schedules, Monday was three very cranky, tired, will-not-take-naps children, which ended by a very cold trip to the playground and an impromptu trip to a pumpkin patch. Today was Megan's third birthday. It's been three years! Three years since the best day of my life (even with the stupid antibiotics in the stupid IV - yes I'm still upset - but in a "I know God is good, but I hate this fallen world we live in" kind of upset) when I held my precious baby in my arms, knowing in that instant I would die for her without hesitation. Three years since I truly learned the meaning of unconditional love. I am still floored that God loves me, little insignificant me, just as much and more than I love these babies He's blessed us with. So that's my life, just a whirlwind, but just a vapor.
I was positive with Kaden, and you’re not kidding those antibiotics hurt worse than childbirth!!!! I was in so much pain I felt like my hand/arm was on fire. My nurse put them in slower and put a cold washcloth on my hand, which REALLY helped. You should ask them to do that. At first I couldn’t believe how badly it hurt, but the nurse said she could slow it down, and she offered a cold washcloth for my hand, and it really did help! I’ll pray with you that for some reason they test later and you’re negative. But who knows? Maybe you’ll deliver before there’s even time to administer it! Praying for you!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I learned about having them slow it down for Lauren's (#2) birth. However, because my labor was so short, even though I got a full dose in, they still had to prick her and test her blood for it. (That's also why I wouldn't want to deliver before I could get the antibiotics - I'd rather me be in my pain than my baby getting pricked.) But I will have to remember the cool washcloth - thanks so much for sharing that!! I questioned my Dr. for quite a while, but pretty much, she's not willing to even test me, because even if I was negative at 37 weeks, it could 'recolonize' in the birth canal between the test and delivery because once it has colonized during a pregnancy, it is much more likely to stay/keep returning there. So that's been my emotional battle this weekend! I even told a friend, it's not like I have 7 months to pray about it and then 3 weeks to think about it if I'm positive. I get to sit here and dread childbirth for 8 months. I know I shouldn't and I really do love childbirth, so I'm just trying to focus on growing a baby for now! :)Thank you so much for your prayers!!
ReplyDelete