Today's Prayer

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father . . . that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith - that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." - Ephesians 3:14, 16 - 19

Truth for Today

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

- Psalm 73:26

If you haven't guessed by my last post and then lack of post yesterday, it's been a very rough few days. I am definitely in the 'survival' mode of being a mommy. I've been discouraged, worried, exhausted, emotional, and just plain burnt out. My flesh is failing me. My heart is failing me. But God is the strength of my heart. He's my portion forever. He is all I need.

Truth for Today

Discouraging Thought: I'm tired of being a mom.

Encouraging Truth: "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give
          you rest." - Matthew 11:28

Loving Instruction: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own
          understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, . . . " - Proverbs 3:5, 6a

Our Reward: ". . . and he shall direct your paths." - Proverbs 3:6b

As a mom, I feel ashamed of even admitting that I'm tired of being a mom. Please don't get me wrong. I love my 'job'. I love giving my baby a bottle, kissing away boo-boos, reading books, and doing puzzles. I love being a mom. I really do. But every so often, like today, I'm tired. I'm tired of disciplining toddlers, tired of having to clean up from lunch just to start dinner, tired of listening to kids crying in their beds while they fight sleep, tired of going from entertainer to comforter to instructor to housekeeper. I'm tired of being needed.

I guess part of my problem is that I'm selfish. I would like to be rested. I would like to feel pretty and thin. I would like to be able to make friends at our church that we've been attending for over a year. I would like to be able to talk to friends I already have. I would like to not have anyone need me. But that's not my truth. My truth is that I'm a mom. A mom to three kids under two and a half years old. These children which God has graciously placed in my care are so dear to my heart. I don't think it's wrong to be tired. We are mortal beings, made from dust. But God isn't made from dust, nor is he mortal. He can give me rest and direct my paths, guiding me through this slightly hectic time in my life.

Dear God, I trust you. I know I can't do this on my own. I don't even know how I'll make it through tomorrow. But I know that you are who you say you are. I know you will give me rest. You will guide me. I praise your Holy name.

Loving Instruction

"Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! Sing to him; sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works! Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice! Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually! Remember the wondrous works that he has done, his miracles and the judgments he uttered." - I Chronicles 16:8 - 12

Today's Prayer

And Hannah prayed and said,

"My heart exults in the Lord; my strength is exalted in the Lord. My mouth derides my enemies, because I rejoice in your salvation. There is none holy like the Lord; there is none besides you; there is no rock like our God. . . . He raises up the poor from the dust; he lifts the needy from the ash heap to make them sit with princes and inherit a seat of honor. For the pillars of the earth are the Lord's, and on them he has set the world."

- I Samueul 2:1, 2, 8

Truth for Today

Discouraging Thought: I want to know how my life is going to play out.

Encouraging Truth: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to
          prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
          - Jeremiah 29:11

Loving Instruction: "In repentance and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in
          trust you shall be your strength." - Isaiah 30:15

Our Reward: "Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts
          himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all
          those who wait for him." - Isaiah 30:18

Isaiah 30 is talking about the Israelites, God's children, who would not wait for Him. They ran to Egypt for help, not wanting to wait for God's instruction or timing. Verse 15 says that God told them "In repentance and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.". They were unwilling, and ran to Egypt anyway, and verse 18 is God's response. I love how vast this verse proves God's love to be. Even when we sin, He loves us. He waits. Waits for us to see our sin, to know the truth, to repent, to trust. He's just waiting. Waiting for us to quietly rest. Waiting with mercy and grace.

Now, I love to plan. I hate surprises, always enjoying the knowledge of what's to come. Some days it drives me nuts that what we had planned for our lives hasn't happened. Mike hasn't finished, let alone started, seminary. We don't have school bills paid off. Every once in a while I get restless and ask Mike if he thinks he should enroll in a class to get seminary started, or if I should get a full time job, or  . . . fill in the blank. My wonderful husband calmly looks at me and reminds me that this is where God has us, and until God makes it clear that we are to be doing anything else, we are going to stay right here. Ugh! It's very hard to just wait. Rest. Quiet my heart. Trust. But I need to, because when I do, I will see Christ waiting. He's waiting to give grace and mercy.

Today's Prayer

Lord, thank you for seeing me through today. When tears dropped to my plate during my prayer for lunch and I didn't even know what to ask or say, You did. You knew that those weren't the first tears shed this morning or that they would be the last for the day. You know how emotionally and mentally exhausted I am. You know that today was a struggle from the moment I woke up. You also knew what I needed. You knew that I needed the girls to play by themselves happily. You knew that I needed Megan to start a fork sword fight over our chicken nuggets that ended up with all of us girls laughing hysterically. You knew that I needed all three kids to nap for two hours at the same time this afternoon. You knew that I needed Michael to laugh at his sisters and shreak happily when I kissed his chubby cheeks. You knew that I needed the girls to parade around the house in their red shoes and play jewelry, Megan singing her version of "Jesus Loves Me." You know, and I praise you!

Truth for Today

Discouraging Thought: No one knows what I'm going through.

Encouraging Truth: "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our
          weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without
          sin." - Hebrews 4:15

Loving Instruction: "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, . . . "
          - Hebrews 4:16a

Our Reward: ". . . that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
          - Hebrews 4:16b

To say that I feel no one knows exactly what I'm going through is an understatement. I don't have any friends that have had three children in a 26 month period. I don't like to dwell on this fact and try not to even think about it due to the fact that it takes me to what I call a "thought hole". (A "thought hole" is that hole you start digging and just keep digging deeper with each following thought. It is very hard to get out of these holes!) However, I am human, and that discouraging thought pops up from time to time. 'No one knows how frustrating, exhausting, never-ending, etc. this is!' But Scripture says that is just not true. Obviously, Jesus wasn't a mother, nor did he have children. However, he was faced with situations that tempted him to be impatient and frustrated, just like me. I believe the Bible when it says Jesus was tempted in "every" way. Every way. Without exception. So it doesn't matter that I don't know of anyone else who pops out kids like it's their job. Jesus knows how hard and frustrating this life can be. He went through it - "without sin". He can help. I love the verbs: "we may receive mercy" and "find grace". We are being told that when we draw near to Christ, we will receive mercy. It's already there. It's already being offered. We also will find grace. It too, is already there. We just have to find it - find it by seeking Christ.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

I am a baker. I have never, nor will I ever claim to be a cook. However, there is something I refused to bake for the longest time: your basic chocolate chip cookie. Why? Because no matter how many recipes I've tried, and how many of those recipes I tweaked, I could never get that delicious cookie you imagine dissolving in your mouth, needing an ice cold glass of milk to go with it. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have now found it: a wonderful recipe for addictive chocolate chip cookies. Thank you Crisco!

Ingredients:

1 1/4 cups firmly packed light brown sugar
3/4 stick (or 3/4 cup) Crisco butter flavor all-vegetable shortening
2 tablespoons milk
1 tablespoon vanilla
1 large egg
1 3/4 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 heaping cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips

[actual recipe is for 3/4 cup chips and 3/4 cup mini chips - I changed it because I don't like too much chocolate]

Heat oven to 375 degrees. Combine brown sugar, shortening, milk and vanilla in large bow. Beat at medium speed until light and fluffy. Beat egg into creamed mixture. Combine flour, salt and baking soda. Mix into creamed mixture until just blended. Stir in chocolate chips. Drop rounded tablespoonfuls of dough 3 inches apart onto ungreased baking sheet. Bake 8 - 10 minutes for chewy cookies, or 11 to 13 minutes for crisp cookies. [I do 10 minutes for my oven.] Cool 2 minutes on baking sheet on a cooling rack. Remove cookies to rack to cool completely. Makes 3 dozen cookies.

Beautiful as they go into the oven . . .



. . . and after they come out!

Truth for Today

Discouraging Thought: I am so very tired.

Encouraging Truth:  "And [God] said, "My presence will go with you, and I will give you
          rest." - Exodus 33:14

Loving Instruction: "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, . . . " - Jesus
          (Matthew 11:28a)

Our Reward: ". . . and I will give you rest." - Jesus (Matthew 11:28b)

Being a mom is tiring. I believe striving to be a Godly mom is even more so. We have a greater purpose than just caring for children. We have a responsibility to raise our children for the glory of God. Most days I fall into bed and feel my body relax for the first time since waking. I love that God has assured us that He will give us rest. Oh, how I need it!

Soul Restoration

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." - Psalm 23:1-3

Today was a soul restoration day. I can only say that it is because God is good. My circumstances weren't different than any other day. I went to work for a couple hours this morning and then came home and dealt with scraped knees, dirty diapers, and temper tantrums. A cranky teething baby wanted held all day, thinking to sleep during the day must be some kind of torture. But amidst all my hectic "normal", I felt overwhelming peace pouring over me like a flood. That's not normal. That's God.

He made me lie down. He restored my soul.

"Blessed be the Lord! for he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him." - Psalm 28:6, 7

Truth and Prayer

"Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, "You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you." You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

- Psalm 16:1, 2, 11

China Glaze

I am a nail polish addict. I blame my grandmother. We had the blessing of attending the same church, and growing up, every Sunday afternoon was spent at Grandma's. Two of us grandkids were allowed to ride with our grandparents to their house and back and oh how we loved it! An especially wonderful thing to do on those Sunday afternoons was to help Grandma pick out her dress to wear for Sunday evening church, and then paint our nails accordingly. Every dress had a specific color to go along with it, and every Sunday Grandma and I painted our nails. How beautiful and grown up I felt walking into church with my perfectly polished nails. (Grandma never ever got the polish on my skin.) And so began my love of nail polish. There is just something about having pretty nails that makes me not care that my hair is thrown into a ponytail 24/7 and I didn't take have the time to apply make up.

Enter China Glaze into my life two years ago. A polish that keeps it's shine until you take it off, a polish that lasts longer than any other brand I've tried, including other salon grade, very expensive, polishes. It's not available at department stores, only hair/beauty stores, but it's about the same price as the department store polishes. (I normally pay $5 a bottle at Sally's.) Needless to say, I highly recommend this polish. Pictured is my favorite shade of red, "Salsa". When I wear it, I'm pretty sure it gives me the ability to conquer the world.

Today's Prayer

"I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

 - Psalm 73:23 - 26

Today's Prayer

Lord, please forgive me for pushing my grocery cart.

Let me explain.

Since my first baby was born, grocery shopping by myself has been my get-away. My quiet time. Time where I don't have to answer to demanding children, clean the house, or talk to anyone. Time to think or time to let my mind finally think of nothing; it didn't matter. It was my time.

Today was no different. Just a few errands to run while everyone else in my house napped. Running into the grocery store, my last stop, I threw a few basics into the cart: potatoes and an onion for dinner, milk, and orange sorbet that was on sale. Going through the line, I noticed there was no bagger to walk my groceries to my car, and I liked that. (I've always hated people doing things for me and asking for help, but pride is another many more posts worth.) As I dropped my wallet into my purse, out of the corner of my eye I see a bagger grabbing my cart and hear "Shall we?". "Oh, thank you, but I can get it" I made sure to say with a smile. This chipper girl replied "You most certainly will not.", quite happy with herself to assist me. Lady, do you even know you're dealing with? You surely must know that telling me I will "most certainly not" do something is pretty much a guarantee that I "most certainly" will in fact be doing that very thing. Before I could blink, one word came tumbling out of my mouth: "no". (Don't you hate it when that happens?!? I did not approve of my mouth saying that!) I honestly don't know if it was the tone of my voice or the look on my face, but that poor girl backed away from my cart like I had just told her there was a bomb strapped to it. Feeling very powerful having just won this little battle I marched through the exit. The guilt hit almost as fast as the hot southern air. Really? Had I just done that?

Lord, please forgive me for pushing my grocery cart. Forgive me for not thinking before I speak, for not letting Your love shine through me. She was only doing her job, happily and willingly. She was trying to serve me. I'm so sorry that I let my pride and selfishness get in the way of You.

I guess grocery shopping isn't my time. It's God's time.