Today's Prayer

Lord, please forgive me for pushing my grocery cart.

Let me explain.

Since my first baby was born, grocery shopping by myself has been my get-away. My quiet time. Time where I don't have to answer to demanding children, clean the house, or talk to anyone. Time to think or time to let my mind finally think of nothing; it didn't matter. It was my time.

Today was no different. Just a few errands to run while everyone else in my house napped. Running into the grocery store, my last stop, I threw a few basics into the cart: potatoes and an onion for dinner, milk, and orange sorbet that was on sale. Going through the line, I noticed there was no bagger to walk my groceries to my car, and I liked that. (I've always hated people doing things for me and asking for help, but pride is another many more posts worth.) As I dropped my wallet into my purse, out of the corner of my eye I see a bagger grabbing my cart and hear "Shall we?". "Oh, thank you, but I can get it" I made sure to say with a smile. This chipper girl replied "You most certainly will not.", quite happy with herself to assist me. Lady, do you even know you're dealing with? You surely must know that telling me I will "most certainly not" do something is pretty much a guarantee that I "most certainly" will in fact be doing that very thing. Before I could blink, one word came tumbling out of my mouth: "no". (Don't you hate it when that happens?!? I did not approve of my mouth saying that!) I honestly don't know if it was the tone of my voice or the look on my face, but that poor girl backed away from my cart like I had just told her there was a bomb strapped to it. Feeling very powerful having just won this little battle I marched through the exit. The guilt hit almost as fast as the hot southern air. Really? Had I just done that?

Lord, please forgive me for pushing my grocery cart. Forgive me for not thinking before I speak, for not letting Your love shine through me. She was only doing her job, happily and willingly. She was trying to serve me. I'm so sorry that I let my pride and selfishness get in the way of You.

I guess grocery shopping isn't my time. It's God's time.