Monday, November 5, 2012

Truth for Today

Discouraging Thought: I do not deserve this baby.

Encouraging Truth: "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from
          the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."
          - James 1:17

Loving Instruction: "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace . . . "
          - Hebrews 4:16a

Our Reward: ". . . that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
          - Hebrews 4:16b

 Yesterday and today have been rough ones. All three munchkins and myself have pretty bad colds. Thanks to me being pregnant and nauseated, it has wiped me out completely! Sadly, it doesn't seem to be making the kids want to sleep 24/7 like it does me, so they're just extra whiny, clingy, and cranky. On top of that they've started sleeping 1.5 hours less a night than normal thanks to the time change. Mix all that up and you get one very tired and grumpy Mama. Impatience, frustration, and harsh words have been prominently displayed. I've asked God and my children to forgive me. (My oldest said I hadn't been bad and that she still loved me. God knew I needed to hear that!) But with all that said, every time I felt myself at the breaking point, this discouraging thought kept popping in my head: "If I find out at Thursday's ultrasound that this baby has stopped growing and went home to be with Jesus, I won't be surprised." I'm sure to some (especially men) this sounds absolutely crazy - "ludicrous" is the exact word used by my husband. But crazy or not, that's what my head has been saying all day. I know God doesn't work that way. I know my husband doesn't think I'm a horrible mother. I know that God has a perfect plan, and it's really not about deserving anything. We are but dust, and ultimately, deserve nothing but hell. But we have a loving, truly loving, Heavenly Father who likes to give us gifts and who has washed our sins with His blood. His love never changes. Even my "bad mom days" can't stop my Jesus from loving me.

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38 - 39


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