FAQ - Gender

I have never been this tired in my life. Never. Ok, maybe back when I had mono in college. Maybe. But it's close. This is by far, the most I've felt the 'exhausted' symptom of pregnancy. I guess having three kids will do that to ya'! By the time the kids are in bed, I have no ability to form a complete thought, let alone a sentence. So I thought I'd share the answer to the most asked question I've been receiving lately: are you hoping for a boy or a girl?

Ultimately, I want a healthy baby, preferably human. After that, for selfish reasons, a girl sounds really nice. Girl clothes are about 1,000 times more cute and fun to put on your baby. However, I'm really hoping for a boy. My Michael could really use a brother! The poor boy chases a pink princess ball and chews on a purple teapot, for crying out loud! Another reason I'm hoping for a boy is the name we have chosen for a boy: Clayton Mitchell. Mitchell is my dad's name, and Clayton was my grandfather's name. Grandpa just passed away at the end of last year. His picture belongs in the dictionary next to the word "Grandpa", for he embodied all that the title is supposed to be. Always smiling, always loving, always willing to give hugs, dance with us, and join in the tea parties. I felt safe in his arms, loved beyond measure in his hugs, and I will never see a Werther's caramel without thinking of him. I would love nothing more than to honor him and his memory by giving his name to a baby boy.

Of course, in the end, it doesn't matter a bit, but that's my answer. :)

Today's Prayer

I hope that at the end of every day, I can earnestly pray the following in regards to my children:

"I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them."

- John 17:26

Truth for Today

Discouraging Thought: I do not deserve this baby.

Encouraging Truth: "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from
          the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."
          - James 1:17

Loving Instruction: "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace . . . "
          - Hebrews 4:16a

Our Reward: ". . . that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
          - Hebrews 4:16b

 Yesterday and today have been rough ones. All three munchkins and myself have pretty bad colds. Thanks to me being pregnant and nauseated, it has wiped me out completely! Sadly, it doesn't seem to be making the kids want to sleep 24/7 like it does me, so they're just extra whiny, clingy, and cranky. On top of that they've started sleeping 1.5 hours less a night than normal thanks to the time change. Mix all that up and you get one very tired and grumpy Mama. Impatience, frustration, and harsh words have been prominently displayed. I've asked God and my children to forgive me. (My oldest said I hadn't been bad and that she still loved me. God knew I needed to hear that!) But with all that said, every time I felt myself at the breaking point, this discouraging thought kept popping in my head: "If I find out at Thursday's ultrasound that this baby has stopped growing and went home to be with Jesus, I won't be surprised." I'm sure to some (especially men) this sounds absolutely crazy - "ludicrous" is the exact word used by my husband. But crazy or not, that's what my head has been saying all day. I know God doesn't work that way. I know my husband doesn't think I'm a horrible mother. I know that God has a perfect plan, and it's really not about deserving anything. We are but dust, and ultimately, deserve nothing but hell. But we have a loving, truly loving, Heavenly Father who likes to give us gifts and who has washed our sins with His blood. His love never changes. Even my "bad mom days" can't stop my Jesus from loving me.

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38 - 39

New Year's Resolutions

Yes, it's weird to be thinking about New Year's resolutions in November. However, we just rented and watched "New Year's Eve". I will warn you - horrible movie! Bad acting, horrible story line, you name it. Anyway, it made me think of what I would put on a resolution list. I really couldn't think of anything - until the kids woke up from their naps. If you've never heard what a house with three under three sounds like, close your eyes and imagine the very definition of 'loud'. Toys being banged against just about anything, one child singing at the top of her lungs, another yelling happily, and most likely the last one screaming bloody murder at something done to him or her by a sibling. So even when it's not unhappy noise, our house is always loud. My resolution would not be to change that. I like our 'loud'. To me, it sounds like fun, family, love, and childhood. What I would change? My volume. I realized that even when I'm not getting after the kids or unhappy at all, I still can get pretty loud. Most of the time the reason I raise my voice is just to be heard. But I'm realizing that's just making me raise my voice, oh, about 90% of the day. Then I realized it's kind of hard to differentiate between a 'voice raised to be heard' and my stern voice. So I am resolving, right now in November, to quiet my voice. Trust me - this house doesn't need any adult voices adding to our wonderful loud. I'm also hoping that if I quiet my voice, my heart, and those of my children, will be quieted when I do have to discipline and use my serious tone. What would you resolve as a Mommy?

Whirlwind Weekend

This past weekend was a crazy one, so please forgive me for not posting. Thursday was our baby's nine month check-up, and we found out he had an ear infection. It seemed that as soon as we knew about the infection, Michael started acting like something was actually bothering him. So a cranky, teething, infected baby didn't make things any better. Friday came and brought our first ultrasound of our newest munchkin. We found out I wasn't as far along as the Dr.'s office had originally calculated. I was kind of planning on this, seeing as this is my fourth time to the ballgame, but just knowing for sure that I have to add two weeks to the due date they originally gave me was disappointing for sure. When you're pretty sick while pregnant and caring for three little hooligans, adding two weeks of pregnancy is just adding two weeks of misery. So there was that. And then my Dr. told me the blood and urine tests from the nurse appointment a few weeks ago came back positive for the Group B Strep. This knocked the wind out of me. I tried not to sob right there in the office. While this may sound silly, I tested positive for my first two babies, and negative for the third. The first time around, the antibiotics they put in your IV to treat for the Group B was worse than childbirth. Seriously. I am not exaggerating. I wasn't aware that you could be positive and then negative for the next one, so I didnt' expect any different with my second. It still was awful, but I only had a four hour labor, so it wasn't as nightmare-ish as the first time. By the third time around, I did research on the whole nasty thing and discovered you could be negative after being positive. So I prayed. Every day until the test at 37 weeks. It was negative and I praised God that I didn't have to have the antibiotics in my IV during childbirth. Since the infection already showed up, I'm not even going to be tested later. I'm getting treated. Period. End of story. When discussing this with my OB, as I said, I wanted to cry. I held it together until I got home and then lost it while talking with my friend who had so graciously watched our munchkins for us. I then lost it again later that day multiple times. I guess I felt robbed. Cheated. I felt my hope had been pulled out from under me. I felt God wasn't even giving me the chance to pray. Of course, I know that is not how God works, that He loves me, and knows what's best. While it is still highly disappointing and frustrating, I am trying to focus on His grace and love, not the circumstances of my little world and the extra pain this childbirth will bring. On Saturday we celebrated our oldest's third birthday with friends and family, which ended up being an all-day affair. Sunday was church and three messed up schedules, Monday was three very cranky, tired, will-not-take-naps children, which ended by a very cold trip to the playground and an impromptu trip to a pumpkin patch. Today was Megan's third birthday. It's been three years! Three years since the best day of my life (even with the stupid antibiotics in the stupid IV - yes I'm still upset - but in a "I know God is good, but I hate this fallen world we live in" kind of upset) when I held my precious baby in my arms, knowing in that instant I would die for her without hesitation. Three years since I truly learned the meaning of unconditional love. I am still floored that God loves me, little insignificant me, just as much and more than I love these babies He's blessed us with. So that's my life, just a whirlwind, but just a vapor.

"For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."

- James 4:14

Truth for Today

Discouraging Thought: fear of miscarriage

Encouraging Truth: "So it is not the will of my Father who is in Heaven that one of these
          little ones should perish." - Matthew 18:14

Loving Instruction: "I sought the Lord . . . " - Psalm 34:4a

Our Reward: " . . . and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears." - Psalm 34:4b

I think every woman who has been, is, and is even wanting, to be pregnant has had this fear. I find it so comforting that God doesn't want our babies to die, to put it bluntly. Of course He doesn't! His love "reaches to the heavens" (Psalm 36:5). Sadly though, we live in a fallen world where, because of sin, there is death. However, we should not worry and fear. When worry and fear enter our hearts, trust of God leaves. And we have to trust. Trust that God is in control; that He created this little baby inside me. Trust that God loves this little baby more than I can imagine, and that God has a perfect plan. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)

I'm sure some of you struggling with this right now are thinking exactly what I was thinking last week, especially on my really bad day: 'I know I am supposed to trust and not worry, but I can't stop worrying!'. God knew we were going to have days like that. "He knows our frame; He remembers we are dust." (Psalm 103:14) So He told us how to escape our fears: SEEK HIM. He promises to answer us and deliver us from our fears. How awesome is that?

Truth for Today

"For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you."

- Isaiah 54:10

Hugs from Heaven

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:22 - 23

His mercies for me were very new this morning. I awoke feeling so peaceful, and I know that it was God alone. Then what followed was a day full of hugs from Heaven. I got a good squeeze when my boss, whom I only work for a few hours a week, ordered gift cards for all us girls at the office to get our nails done. (I can't wait to get my card and get my nails done!!) I came home from work to a clean house, children who had been bathed sitting at the table happily eating lunch. Then came the bear hug of all bear hugs from Heaven: All three children napped for two hours at the same time, the girls sleeping over three hours! And guess what? I did absolutely nothing during nap time. Nothing. More hugs came in the form of encouraging words from dear friends. Now, I get to be a bum on the couch with my hubby who has the night off, and I'm pretty sure we're just going to sit there eating cookies.

Even in the midst of hormones bouncing off the walls of my insides, baby making me tired and hungry, three munchkins, third shift schedule, and emotions going wild, my God is faithful.

Rough. Day.

As I lean against the kitchen sink sobbing, verbally crying out to God, my brain is telling me to shut up. I know I am being irrational, emotional, irritable, and anxious. Today I've worried about money, our children's schooling, miscarriage, my husband's job, me looking for a job, me screwing up our children for life, and well, this list could go on forever. Seriously. Forever. But nothing is different than last week, when I was completely trusting, completely at peace with what God is allowing, doing, and working in our family. I know my problem is that I've let the world in. When the world's influence comes in, God's goes out. I've let in little comments about a fourth unplanned pregnancy, I've let in people's obvious lack of excitement for us which my mind takes and uses to turn friends and family into arch-enemies. I've let in society's idea of a nice house and comfortable style of living, and I've let in a view of our finances that takes God out of the equation.  But it's also been one of those days in which I know I have a problem, but I can't seem to do anything about it. So I've done the only thing I can: Cry to Jesus. Sob.  Literally. When we have no words, God hears our hearts. He's promised, and I cling to that promise today.

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." - Romans 8:26

Other promises I'm claiming tonight:

"In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" - Psalm 56:4

"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." - Psalm 56:8    ~Now that's love!~

"Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." - I John 4:4

Canvas People

Have you seen the photograph canvases that people are putting on their walls now? Cool, right? Have you checked prices? Not so cool! While there are lots of tutorials online on how to achieve this look for a lot less, I haven't tried them. (I really want to, but there are other things much higher on the financial priority list.) However, I have found a website that will give you a free canvas. Yes, free! Quick sidenote: you will have to pay $15 for shipping, but that's less than the cost of a canvas, 8x10 print, and materials to make your own, which always has the chance to crash and burn anyway. Canvas People is an awesome website who is always offering free 8x10 canvases. Anyone who opens an account with them will get a free canvas, and if you sign up for e-mails or 'like' them on facebook, you will receive codes for a free 8x10 all the time. I discovered them three years ago while searching for a reasonably priced canvas service. I have these three canvases in our bedroom: each of our babies seven days old. {Please ignore the horrid green walls - we rent and therefore aren't going to spend time or money painting!} I've gotten lots of compliments on them (whenever anybody braves their way to the back half of our house), and they are a very good quality. To get your free 8x10 canvas, follow this link. ** I just discovered this link is no longer working - so sorry! As soon as I can find their new link, I'll let you know. But for now, they're offering a $10 8x10 or a $15 11x14!

Big News

Another baby is on the way! Once again, not planned by us, but planned by God. I take great comfort in the fact that God is all-knowing. He knows how many kids under a certain age we can handle, He knows the figures in our checking and saving accounts, and most importantly He knows our hearts. Surprisingly, I was very excited about another baby! We've been debating between three of four, not wanting to take permanent measures if God wanted us to have a fourth. However, God made the decision before we could. It may sound funny, but it relieves me to know we didn't have to make the decision. I love serving a God who knows what is best and gives it to us.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward."

- Psalm 127:3

Getting Crafty

I love Christmas. Growing up, it was a big deal. Big. The day after Thanksgiving, the fall decorations came down, and the tree went up. Gingerbread on the fireplace, snowmen on the mantle, garlands dripping from every banister, and the Precious Moments nativity on the piano with the wise men thoughtfully placed on the window sill nearby. All three of my sisters and I have a deep, deep love for Christmas thanks to our mom. We love it just as much as we did when we were little. All that to say, I am already desperately aching to pull out the decorations! I have to force myself to wait, knowing that two girls' birthday parties have to happen first, and I want them to have their own little holiday before we all celebrate Jesus'

birthday as a family. So since I couldn't decorate my house, I thought I'd make something new to put out when I can decorate. (Once again, thank you Pinterest!) I saw this first picture and fell in love with it. The website is in Finnish (I believe) so it really wasn't any help. I also had to do an inexpensive version, preferably with a little more color since the walls here are kind of boring anyway. I collect the Birch Heart Snowmen figurines, which I think will look perfect in front of this "Noel". I wanted to get a picture of the completed display, but lacked the energy to pull out a million boxes to find which figurines I wanted to use. So you'll have to use your imagination to picture my final display, but I promise I'll take pictures this December! One of the figurines I may use on the left, and here's my version of "Noel":

And since I was in such a craft mood, and had left over supplies, I made one for "Fall", too:

(I'll let you in on a secret: the first and last letters are made from diaper boxes. :) First are wrapped in brown paper wrapping paper and the "L"s are wrapped in twine.) Once again, use coupons and shop sales! Projects don't always have to cost tons of moolah!

I love you because . . .

Magnetic pocket picture frame: $3.50
Scrapbook paper: $0.59
Helping our marriage: priceless

Third shift, two toddlers and an infant don't exactly create the perfect combo for a romantic marriage. Some days, we have to work at loving each other.  It may seem cheesy, but we've been enjoying writing down different things. Some things written are sweet and sentimental, others quite humorous. It's always fun to think of something to write down, and the warm fuzzy feeling you get when your hubby writes something sweet is priceless!

Old Navy Socks

As an experienced mom of babies and toddlers in winter, I knew I would be needing socks for all the kids in the near future. Now you'd think a sock is a sock, but I beg to differ. We have hardwood floors which means we need socks with treads and socks that keep toes really warm. A baby that will be learning to walk needs socks that do not budge and twist around on his feet. Toddler girls who think dancing, climbing, and jumping is their job need socks that don't come off even if a tornado were to hit. I've tried TONS of different brands of socks over the last three winters, and I've found these Old Navy socks are the best. They do all of the above, are very durable, and are worth every penny.

I headed out to run errands today, just happened to be near Old Navy, and figured I might as well get the socks before the kids really start to need them. What just happened to be on sale? The very socks I needed! Two packs for the girls were purchased, one pack for baby boy. Total savings: $4.50! I was praising the Lord as I skipped out. It never fails to amaze me that God looks out for us in the smallest ways, even if it is just socks being on sale!

Truth for Today

Discouraging Thought: Everything was frustrating today, and I reacted wrongly.

Encouraging Truth: "Seek the Lord while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon." - Isaiah 55:6, 7

Loving Instruction: "Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires." - James 1:19, 20

Today was one of those days. Every little thing was frustrating for me, even toddlers and babies just being, well, toddlers and babies. Taking toys from each other, hitting each other with toys, screaming for no reason, short naps, and random bouts of sobbing are all part of my normal day. But today was over the top. Nonstop. ALL. DAY. Mix hormones doing crazy things to the Mommy's emotions and nerves and you have a very unhappy home. (I have to clarify that it is proven fact that hormones cause mood swings, irritation, etc., but that is NO excuse for bad behavior.) Situations were dealt with in harsh tones, unloving discipline, and much too little patience. I am so glad that our Heavenly Father has unlimitless patience and love towards us, His children. I am so thankful He "abundatly pardons" our failures and unrighteousness if we just ask. Today, there has been A LOT of asking!